I appologize for this...

I don't like spewing typical teenage bullshit. I think its a waste of time, usually. However, tonight I'm very angry with my mom, so here it goes.

Now, I love my mom. She is one of my favorite people in the whole world. I remember when I was little I would wake up when I heard her getting ready for work and go in and lay down on the bathroom floor to watch her do her make up in the mirror. I've always wanted to be just like her. Lately, though, she's been really mean. Just mean. I think she's going through menopause or something. Today 2 friends and myself decided to go swimming in a lake around the corner from my house. When I got home she asked why we were wet and I told her not thinking she'd have a problem with it. She called me dirty. I'm dirty because I went swimming in a lake. She didn't mean dirty as in covered in dirt, she meant trashy. Then she was going out and I asked her to pick me up a scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream because I was craving it really badly. She said "I hate to be the one to break it to ya, but you don't need it." ... I'm not fat. I'm not skinny, but I'm not fat. I'm a medium shirt and a size 8 or 10 pants. She also thinks because my brother gets A's and B's in 4th fucking grade, that he's smarter than me. Well, I got A's and B's in 4th grade as well. Hell, I got them all the way up until 7th grade when I learned the definition of "lazy" and stopped doing my work. That does NOT mean I still don't raise my hand to answer every bloody question. I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO SPEAKS AT ALL DURING MY ENGLISH CLASS! The rest of them are completely oblivious. I WANT TO BE A FUCKING TEACHER. But apparently, I'm a fat, dirty idiot and I don't deserve to live.

I miss snuggle time and watching my mommy put make up on her face (that to me was absolutely perfect with or without it.) Fuck it, I just miss my mommy.