Apparently, there is this marvelous thing going around. You get tagged and you have to post six secrets about yourself. Hm..
1) I think I may love a guy who is 9 years older than me.
2) Most details about me, are lies. "I read that book!" ...no I didnt. I read the back cover and decided it sounded like crap.
3) I made out with a friends ex-boyfriend months ago and still havent told her. Nor do I intend to.
4) I always have different intentions than other people, and let people assume we want the same things.
5) To an onlooker, I seem to have it pretty together...I dont, but kind of enjoy it that way. I'd never want to have things truly "together." I think it would get very boring, very quickly!
6) This isnt so much a secret as it is a fact: I love answering questions. I love sharing secrets with people and connecting with them. So if you really want to know something... Ask!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
You know those days when you get the mean reds...
I've got the mean reds. I'd explain it, but I don't think it's something you can really explain.
Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of.
I think that feeling of "being afraid" is really your subconscious knocking at the front door. It's that silly little notion you tucked away to be "thought about later." Only, it doesnt want to be thought about later, it wants to be thought about now! But you're trying much too hard to forget, so instead of remembering it, you become afraid of it. It haunts you saying 'think of me; remember me." But you wont...or at least, you dont. Because to remember it would mean that you would have to deal with it or risk knowing yourself to be a coward.
Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of.
I think that feeling of "being afraid" is really your subconscious knocking at the front door. It's that silly little notion you tucked away to be "thought about later." Only, it doesnt want to be thought about later, it wants to be thought about now! But you're trying much too hard to forget, so instead of remembering it, you become afraid of it. It haunts you saying 'think of me; remember me." But you wont...or at least, you dont. Because to remember it would mean that you would have to deal with it or risk knowing yourself to be a coward.
Today, I've got the mean reds. =/
Sunday, September 21, 2008
She's so busy being free...
Hi old friend.
No, I havent forgotten about you.
I've just been too busy, I'm afraid.
Good things mostly, though today was not so great.
I'll be back soon I promise.
No, I havent forgotten about you.
I've just been too busy, I'm afraid.
Good things mostly, though today was not so great.
I'll be back soon I promise.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Waiting
Del Knox:Piece of advice: you can lose your money. You can spend it - all of it. Maybe work hard, get it all back. But if you waste your time, you're never gonna get it back.
Certain forms of waiting are necessary. For example, in a "civilized society" we wait for the light to turn green before we go, we wait in line without cutting, we wait for our numbers to be called at the deli counter. Now these forms of waiting are beneficial to us because they prevent chaos. But what about the other type of waiting? The type of waiting that prevents anything from ever getting done. This form is in fact, detrimental to our society.
The type of waiting I'm talking about is clearly demonstrated in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Towards the end, Harry, by means of time travel, is watching Sirius Black and himself die. He refuses to act out against the dementors-the source that is killing them- because his dad will come and save them. Hermione says to the onlooking Harry, "No one's coming." Shortly after this, Harry summons the power in himself and casts the Petronas charm. Now what would have happened if Harry, instead of casting the charm himself, had waited for his dad to come and saved Sirius and Harry? They would have died.
Waiting for people is a dangerous habit. Whether its waiting for your husband to stop beating you, or waiting for someone to join in the fun, or waiting for someone to say their sorry, you're going to be waiting a long time. Time is very precious when you're only alive for such a short amount of it. Every moment better be enjoyed.
Certain forms of waiting are necessary. For example, in a "civilized society" we wait for the light to turn green before we go, we wait in line without cutting, we wait for our numbers to be called at the deli counter. Now these forms of waiting are beneficial to us because they prevent chaos. But what about the other type of waiting? The type of waiting that prevents anything from ever getting done. This form is in fact, detrimental to our society.
The type of waiting I'm talking about is clearly demonstrated in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Towards the end, Harry, by means of time travel, is watching Sirius Black and himself die. He refuses to act out against the dementors-the source that is killing them- because his dad will come and save them. Hermione says to the onlooking Harry, "No one's coming." Shortly after this, Harry summons the power in himself and casts the Petronas charm. Now what would have happened if Harry, instead of casting the charm himself, had waited for his dad to come and saved Sirius and Harry? They would have died.
Waiting for people is a dangerous habit. Whether its waiting for your husband to stop beating you, or waiting for someone to join in the fun, or waiting for someone to say their sorry, you're going to be waiting a long time. Time is very precious when you're only alive for such a short amount of it. Every moment better be enjoyed.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
So close and yet so far...
I'm going to be a senior this year. Soon I will leave. I cannot wait to leave. =]
I hope to go to a school far far away and learn EVERYTHING they have to teach me AND MORE!
I hope to take that wonderful knowledge and travel the world and help people with REAL needs.
Not people with self-inflicted diseases like part-time alcoholism and "gee, I've smoked for 50 years, why do I have emphysema?!" But people with actual needs. Like starving children or homeless people or people in need of an education so they can better themselves or SOMETHING!
Patience is a virtue...so are honest attempts. I'm trying to be patient...I promise!!! =/
I hope to go to a school far far away and learn EVERYTHING they have to teach me AND MORE!
I hope to take that wonderful knowledge and travel the world and help people with REAL needs.
Not people with self-inflicted diseases like part-time alcoholism and "gee, I've smoked for 50 years, why do I have emphysema?!" But people with actual needs. Like starving children or homeless people or people in need of an education so they can better themselves or SOMETHING!
Patience is a virtue...so are honest attempts. I'm trying to be patient...I promise!!! =/
Sunday, April 27, 2008
And when we find what we're looking for...
we'll drop these bags and search no more
'Cause it's gonna feel like heaven when we're home.
I dont really have much to say today, I just felt like posting. I'm in a very good mood, though very tired! Friday night I spent with old friends and Saturday night with new friends. It turns out, I can have both. =] AND, today I am spending by myself. All together, I think it has been a most enjoyable week end.
'Cause it's gonna feel like heaven when we're home.
I dont really have much to say today, I just felt like posting. I'm in a very good mood, though very tired! Friday night I spent with old friends and Saturday night with new friends. It turns out, I can have both. =] AND, today I am spending by myself. All together, I think it has been a most enjoyable week end.
Monday, April 21, 2008
"& I thank the lord for the people I have found"
I have something very important to post, but it isn't finished. So I will explain now and in several days or weeks or whatever, when it is finished, I will post it...just for you ;]
So, if you read my earlier blogs from this year you will begin to pick up on a theme. This theme is about abandonment, I suppose. Though now that word seems very harsh. Well, long story short-- my two closest friends found..distractions. I was heart broken and couldnt cope at all! Essentially, I thought it was the end of the world. Well, my friends havent exactly come back to me. But they're trying and I appreciate that. I also appreciate new friends. Sometimes I think people unintentionally fix things. Sometimes people unintentionally fix people. I'm fortunate to be one of those fixed people.
Thats it for now...I'll write more later
{Later} Tonight, I went for a drive with Emily. We ventured down lost road(best name for a street ever) and I realized I'm not all that lost, though I may be running on empty =] "Running on empty, running blind. Running into the sun, but I'm running behind." --Jackson Browne put it more perfectly than I ever could. "I dont know where I'm running, I'm just running on." It's very true. And its very okay, because I'm okay. I'm not great, but I'm not bad either. I'm just okay. And what I've learned is that sometimes, its okay to just be okay.
So, if you read my earlier blogs from this year you will begin to pick up on a theme. This theme is about abandonment, I suppose. Though now that word seems very harsh. Well, long story short-- my two closest friends found..distractions. I was heart broken and couldnt cope at all! Essentially, I thought it was the end of the world. Well, my friends havent exactly come back to me. But they're trying and I appreciate that. I also appreciate new friends. Sometimes I think people unintentionally fix things. Sometimes people unintentionally fix people. I'm fortunate to be one of those fixed people.
Thats it for now...I'll write more later
{Later} Tonight, I went for a drive with Emily. We ventured down lost road(best name for a street ever) and I realized I'm not all that lost, though I may be running on empty =] "Running on empty, running blind. Running into the sun, but I'm running behind." --Jackson Browne put it more perfectly than I ever could. "I dont know where I'm running, I'm just running on." It's very true. And its very okay, because I'm okay. I'm not great, but I'm not bad either. I'm just okay. And what I've learned is that sometimes, its okay to just be okay.
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