Emergency Champagne Glasses

I just wanted to let the world know that I had the best spring break ever and while part of me is happy to be going back to school, I kind of wish it wasnt ending =]

So lets raise another emergency champagne to old friends and new friends and in between friends. To never seeing the end of pulp fiction and walks to the evil lake. To still never seeing the end of pulp fiction Jack puking everywhere. To the breathing ocean and butt-fu. To the jacket store and long awaited dates. To 2 hour long conversations in the cold and only 4 beers. To motherfucking brownies and to Dayna's boobs. To sleeping all day. To actually doing homework and long drives in random fields.


Raise an unexpected glass to spring break, the week after, Taylor Mali and Tony Hoagland. My Junior year has taken an unexpected turn for the better.

The Beginnings of My Bucket List

For Christmas Hez gave me 2,001 Things to Do Before You Die. I decided to take the things I actually want to do and write them down...where better than here? So here are the first things on my list from the book. Later on, I'll add my own things. =]

• Be an extra in a movie
• see the aurora borealis from Denali
• donate body parts
• rent an apartment on the seine for two months
• learn what spelunking is and do it
• have multiple orgasms
• drink a mint julep at the Kentucky Derby (and wear a killer hat)
• pay for the next car at a toll booth
• make a religious pilgrimage-to Mecca, Santiago de Compostela, Jerusalem, or Graceland
• hang glide
• shake hands with someone famous
• light a candle in the Holocaust memorial museum's hall of Rememberance
• blow smoke rings
• be able to explain the theory of relativity
• get a professional makeover
• suddenly decide on and leave for a trip
• crash a ritzy party
• give someone a reason to believe in god even if you dont
• swim in the Icelandic hot springs at sundown
• communicate without words
• find a long straight road and see how fast you can go
• volunteer at a zoo

=]

Life is good

when you make it good.

So make it good.

When life is hard, you have to change

^^So says Blind Melon.

And they're right. I kind of started my change last week but its OFFICIAL today. YES, FOLKS! Today I, Lisa Pepe, cut my hair. My hair hasn't been this short since I was about 4 (short being shoulder length). Its awkward but I'm enjoying it. More importantly, I'm enjoying the symbolism. "I'm letting go of all I've held on to." I'm enjoying life and I'm enjoying myself.

Oh life<3

Poor Pretender

Befuddled. So very befuddled.

A man jumps on a table in the middle of a crowded room. He says, "My name is Jack Pretender and I am someone who has never committed to anything and its never bothered me." Everyone looks at him. Jack expects people to jump on a table and let the entire room know who they are, but no one does. So, Jack jumps off the table and walks up to a girl. "What is your name?" he asks her, everyones eyes are still on the two of them. "Jen." She responds. "Jen, who are you?" "I don't know." Jack asked several different people there names and "who they were." The people who didn't answer "I dont know" said things like "I'm a body builder" or "I'm a good person" or worst of all "I'm a mystery." After asking several people he started to cry. He walked out of the crowded room unsure if he'd ever return. It was that last answer that got to Jack. "I am a mystery." Had he not felt so defeated he would have asked the black haired, pale skinned girl, "What's so great about being a mystery?" Jack felt as though he had done the right thing. He wanted everyone to know who he was almost as badly as he wanted to know who everyone else was. Jack had decided that from now on he was pure and he would keep no more secrets. Except, what if he was wrong? What if the mystery girl had been right. What if people are meant to be hidden beneath this shroud of secrets. In spite of these thoughts, Jack couldn't help but think that secrets were just tall fences meant to keep the world out and he wanted so desperately to let the world in, only the world was not excepting the invitation.
Jack spent the rest of his life brooding over that day. Was he right or was he wrong?


I hate secrets. I want someone to be painfully honest with me. Will you be?

I am Jack's broken heart

When I was little my mom and I got in a fight. I was so furious that I packed my runaway bag. It was a purple Lisa Frank bag with a pink bear who held a paintbrush. The bag itself was insignificant really. It contained a Spice Girls CD, my favorite Barbie, a blanket, some crayons, some paper and my will, meaning who I intended to leave the rest of my stuff with. Sensible, I know. It lasted 3 moves. But when we were kicked out of our house and had to decide what was important to bring, I thought I would never need it. So I left it there under the bed.

I was wrong. I would do anything to have that bag now. My mom and I had a fight last night because I shoveled the walkway incorrectly. No, I am not kidding. She came home, opened the door and started talking about how I am unmotivated and only ever do things half way. So we had a fight. This morning she told me that she didn't like me. My mom is the most beautiful person I've ever met. She's gorgeous. She's had a really hard life and managed to still move on. She raised me by herself and taught me almost everything I know. And... she doesn't like me.

"I can't do this anymore," she said to me. "I can't keep pulling people through life." Okay. Then don't. Because I can't do this anymore, either. I can't keep convincing myself that she does. So I'm done. And I dont know if that means that I completely rebel and go and get a tattoo and smoke a lot of pot or if that means I go through life head down, shut up. Either way I'll be miserable so who the fuck cares?

I bend really far. But I am human and I break too.
I am broken. I am Jack's broken heart.

16 months and I am gone.

My perfect 17th birthday

My birthday is on Monday. And, though none of this will actually happen, this is how my perfect bday weekend would go....

Friday night, we (me, alicia, davey, emily, hez, jamie, philip & chic) would party at Hez's. The usual Friday night but like 14 zillion times better because Philip would be there and it would be a jamie-pepe-bday party blast. So we'd party hard, laugh hard and just enjoy eachothers company. Then Sat. alicia, philip and myself would spend the day at the evil lake drinking tea and just being us--no awkwardness--. Perhaps we'd engage in some illegal birthday festivities too. That'd be fun =] Then Saturday night Jelly, Kristina and myself would hang out and watch movies and eat cookie dough and make gak! That'd be awesome. Then, sun. I would treat myself to the movies! I've never been to the movies by myself before and I'd love to try it. Then Mon., I'd go to school have an AWESOME day and afterwards go out to the usual birthday dinner with my mommy, daddy, Jack and Alicia. And then I'd come home and it would all be over.

....That is how I want to turn 17 years old. =]