Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Somewhat as beautiful as his own nature<3

Today was my last day with Gozick. I've never been more happy or sad more pathetically hopeful in my entire life. I spent two periods with him (Mine and then Kristina's) and its funny because he ended the second period with the final line in The Great Gatsby (almost to the bell....great timing)

"Tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther.... And one fine morning--
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

I have to admit in the beginning of the year I hated his reading voice. I thought it was awfully monotonic and dull. Only recently did I come to the conclusion that Mr. Gozick's voice, much like everything else about him, is all about subtlety. The pauses are not because he's still trippin' from the 60's...they are there because he's awe-struck by the beauty of the words escaping from his lips. When he's angered by the readings his voice becomes slightly deeper and when he's in love with what he is reading it becomes lighter and airier.
Anyway, hearing him read that quote in his subtle passionate made me want to cry. And if I hadn't been in a room of unappreciative sixteen year olds, I would have. But they don't understand the literary orgasm (something only Michelle and Kristina get!!!) and I'm not certain they ever will....even though I do hope so. But even if they do not, thats not a bad thing. Its just a different thing. Another thing that Gozick has taught me this year is to not fret over the fact that there are so few like "us", but to appreciate the few like "us". If there was a room full of Emersons would it not depreciate the value of his words?
I can't get over how much that man has taught me. I could write a book, "Life lessons from a sexy Goat." lol, well, I'm not sure I'll do that, but every word that man has uttered to me will forever be ingrained in my head. I can't let go of his words--that would be letting go of who I've become this year. Which, I owe largely to him. He changed me....for the better, I think--I hope.
Patience, Appreciation, Subtlety, The value of life and the beautiful people in it? Those are all things I learned from him. And thats all on top of Holden's emo mentality and Gatsby's dreams...not to mention everything on Transcendentalism (which should be an entirely separate class.) I'd give my soul to marry that man. --No, not even that. Honestly, I don't think I'd want to marry him. I could never marry someone that great for fear of constantly looking inferior. But to be his pupil for the rest of eternity? Yes, I would give my soul. But the best part is, I don't have to. Mr. Gozick will always be my teacher. For those of you that get this, he's like the evolved form of Mrs. Marech. The thing about her, was that while she saw greatness in me she was never great herself...which is why she wanted me to be great. To make up for her--vicariously great almost. But Gozick? I can only hope to be half as great as he is.
So my intent was to write about something completely different. But, thats okay. Mr. Gozick deserves this, at LEAST. So, conclusively, I will share a quote that was not only introduced to me by this phenomenal man, but one that describes him perfectly as well:

"In the tranquil landscape, and especially in the distant line of the horizon,
man beholds somewhat
as beautiful as his own nature"
--Ralph Waldo E

Oh, btw--I hugged him today+ he hugged me back. ...he smells nice =]

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